glamydia: if i was an olympic gymnast i would just flip around everywhere all day like i wouldnt stop like oh can you pass the salt no but i can do 7 backflips in a row holding the salt and then twist into a cartwheel to hand you it
alcohell: I remember when Myspace was popular I looked up a girl I knew and she had this little fridge where you could rearrange the magnets to spell a message and the one already there said SUP BITCHES and I was shocked and erased it and wrote BE NICE WE ARE 12
me: hey i heard you were a wild one
strongwiththefail: breakfastatbequiettiffany: bawbag: In primary school when you and your friend would pretend to sharpen your pencils to have a chat at the bin This is the most UK-centric sentence I’ve ever seen written Excuse you.
youngstero: walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)
violetthegreat: since the olympics are going on instead of using the gold “you tried” stars can we use these
kaydolfhitler: My friend from germany made a twitter and I literally cry at all of his tweets
yourniisan: my mom thought she would surprise me by coming home from her trip and sneaking into my room while i was too absorbed in my music to notice. what she didnt know was that i would be the one surprising her. surprising her with the gay porn i was drawing, beautifully rendered in hd on a 32 inch tv screen
If mondays were shoes, they’d be crocs.
when america hosts the olympics
oprah: YOU GET A GOLD MEDAL AND YOU GET A GOLD MEDAL AND EVERYONE LOOK UNDER YOUR CHAIR BECAUSE YOU ALL GET A GOLD MEDAL!!!!!!!!
alcohell: things my drivers ed instructor said today “my name is tim. nobody calls me timothy except my dead grandmother, which means that nobody calls me timothy.” “deer can only mate during three months of the year. if you could only have relations with your boyfriend or girlfriend during three months of the year, do you think you’d be doing much else?” “now, i’m a pacifist, but there are...
Fun Happy Time →
bestnatesmithever: chuckhistory: A hot chick that I am friends with on Facebook but don’t really know sent me this. I will kill you, Chuck. Kill you dead.
shannananan: usapotterfan: asgardasylum: I wonder if today the Potter family was just sitting around the fireplace drinking tea when they decide to turn on the tv and WHAM 40 FT VOLDEMORT and everyone just looks at Harry omg
elfi3: wethinkwedream: What if clouds and lakes switched spots and every time you looked up you’d see waves being pulled by the moon and we’d wade through the clouds on a hot day. What if birds grew grass and the ground grew feathers. What if flowers were as tall as trees and trees as small as flowers. how high are you right now
mscaffrey: varens: is there a download link to become british <html>tea</html>
thedruff: ponshi: leftinstitches: amhras: jesus only had 12 followers but they talked to him why don’t you guys talk to me Seriously, I don’t even care if you’re the creepy one I take it back, will you please fucking stop that
kushandlyrikz: The Filipino Olympic team didn’t come out in snapbacks and Obey t-shirts.
starparties: ok can we just give it the fuck up to the london olympics right now no one actually thought they’d have a 40 ft tall voldemort FUCK YOU YES THEY DO GOD FUCKING DAMNIT YES SOMEONE EMBRACE ME holyyyyy shit