June 2012
oh my god i’m at the grocery store and there is a guy in the frozen section who is tweaked off his balls on some kind hallucinatory drug.
i’m in the next isle meowing softly through the cereal boxes where he can’t see me and he is losing his shit pulling pizza boxes out of the freezers and yelling that he needs to save the popsicle cat
am i a bad person
meatmodel:
look out your window im probably there
oceliats:
fun fact this boy liked my friend and he tried to make it like in the movies and he threw rocks at her window but jokes on him because one of the rocks actually broke her window and he had to pay for it and they’re still not dating
pukegreencloud:
Can’t see the haters
Where are they
neodad:
im transgender and terrified of trains i cant figure out how to make this funny im sorry please respect my identity and look both ways before crossing any railroad tracks
boy: i like you do you wanna hang out sometime
boy does not exist
boy is a figment of your imagination
you are in a psych ward
fapitalism:
my voice is what comic sans sounds like
squiiiije:
In Flo-Rida’s song “Low” he states that Shawty is wearing the apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur AND the Reeboks with the straps, what is she some kind of four legged morph woman? In all honesty I’m not surprised the whole club is looking at her
alwaysanoriginal:
bl-ind:
do you ever get the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren’t talking
yes because they’re thinking
it’s annoying
dreamsfilltheemptyskies:
symmetrydrive:
dysenterygay:
the only letters of the alphabet i need to know are U, S and A
same
Well played, Australia
a special message for a very special someone
maximumbuttitude:
hey
you
dont you dare think
for even a second
that nobody saw you
when you decided this waS AN ACCEPTABLE WAY TO PARK YOUR VEHICLE BECAUSE IS AW IT OKAY I FUCKING SAW IT YOUR SHITTY PARKING JBO IS ON GOOGLE MAPS IN FRONT OF THE ENTUIRE WORLD
anrdew:
boys are a myth
how to kiss
conversationparade:
[step 1] open your mouth as wide as possible. make sure to stick out your tongue as far as you can, too, since kisses are like, 90% that thing
[step 2] find someone to kiss. you will know they want to kiss because their tongue will also be extended at full length
[step 3] move in for the kill
theonceandfuturehima:
accio—loki:
msbennets:
jamespottersexytime:
these are not smarties
they are M&Ms
these are smarties
NO
these are smarties
these are rockets
AND THESE ARE M&Ms
NOBODY CARES CANADA
benditlikebolin:
when people use asdfghjkl; as a keyboard smash
thebrotherswinchester:
being part of a fandom has made me really good at having quiet, contained mental breakdowns
like if you saw me in public you would never guess that at that very moment i was having a complete emotional upheaval over fictional characters
you would have no idea
